All posts by qa

The Amazing Journey to Finding Me

This is a list of the various breakthroughs and changes that I have experienced during my transformation. I am trying to remember timing but it may get confused. The real changes in my life started to solidify when I attended the first intensive in Sedona. Actually if I am being really honest, it started back at that first I Can Do It seminar in Orlando when I met Colette. I’m not giving all the credit to her, but felt at that time there was a reason that she was brought into my life.

I am starting the list from now and going backwards.

  • Purchased a bicycle and started using it – major accomplishment since I have been planning to do this from the time I moved to Florida.

  • Purchased some new clothes 2 sizes smaller than I currently wear. When I wear the current size (20) there are almost 2 inches of space at the waist. I can actually pull them up and down without doing the snap.

  • I originally purchased 1 size smaller (18) and found these to actually be too big for me also.

  • The size 16 are still a little tight, but I have them and know they will fit now that I am back from Europe.

  • I processed the emotional issues dealing with the death of my Father where he didn’t tell me he loved me before he died. (I was actually talking with my sister about this tonight. She remembers me being in the room when he told her he loved her. I told him that I was there too and he didn’t acknowledge me. She said she saw the hurt in my eyes. I had completely forgotten that memory. The song the Living Years now has a much stronger meaning for me as it relates to what my Father wanted to tell me.

  • I realized that my birthday present at the age of 7 was my younger sister. This was huge for me because this was when I became that invisible child. I have since rescued this child and dealt with that issue.

  • I realized that I started gaining weight when my Mother moved in with me. I lost focus of taking care of me and spent my life taking care of her. I let her live her life through me and carried a lot of anger and frustration. I also became a great enabler.

  • I started the saga of the travelling saggy pants. Once I started being the neutral observer, I stopped taking on everyone else’s shit.

  • I realized that I can’t save others. They have to save themselves. I stopped being so co-dependent and enabling.

  • I have reduced the white sugar and processed flour from my diet. Not eliminated completely, but really slowed down.

  • I don’t eat chocolate like I did.

  • I am really eating more healthy – salads. Less red meat

  • I am taking my nutrients more regularly

  • I have stopped drinking sweet tea and am drinking more water.

  • I am successfully coaching 2 wonderful clients and getting great results. Both are making great progress with their own transformations.

  • I had my picture taken and for the first time in a long time felt that it was a good picture.

  • I stopped thinking of myself as ugly and not deserving of a wonderful man and relationship.

  • Visited the valley of echoes and the hall of mirrors with my great study buddy Patti. The two landscapes actually combined. We rescued several images while there.

  • I took control of the Goblin villages and played the Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland – Off with their heads.

  • I received my voice back from the bone collector. This is something that I gave up in the 7th grade when I changed schools. This is also a time that I started having physical image issues. I am now feeling that I can have that voice.

Other big changes for 2012:

  • I dumped the old relationship. – this opens the doors for the wonderful relationship that is coming. I feel it getting closer and closer. In fact my sister asked me tonight if I was seeing someone. She as been feeling that there is someone coming soon for me also.

  • I gave the not good enough goblin a new job – the banker. His job is not to make me feel insecure or not good enough to coach. His job is to determine how I can make money coaching. Right after I did that, I did my first astrological charts/coaching and got paid.

  • I ventured into the world of business consulting in the pharmaceutical industry I haven’t really worked in this industry before. I have established a relationship with the CEO who had me spend 3 weeks coaching and mentoring her staff in preparation for the FDA. The FDA actually showed up 1 week after the assignment and they seem to have done well with the areas that I set up for hosting the FDA.

  • I have been on consulting assignments for business continuously this year.

  • I sent a thank you note to my former manager for helping me realize that it was time for me to move on and take control of my life.

  • I successfully completed the Wealth Energetix and Divination Dynamics classes.

  • I have been doing some readings and intuitive work where people are telling me that I am 95%+ accurate in what I am seeing. ?

  • I stopped supporting my nephew and his baby momma and am not enabling them any more.

  • I have learned to put my energy field up to prevent others from sucking away my positive energy.

Traveling Baggy PantsSM – Weight Loss Adventure

June 25

  • OK, since I am on a roll, thought I would share…….I just put on my clothes for work and the pants that I put on are too loose. They are actually hanging off my hips. Is it my imagination???? I think not. It does present an interesting challenge, I took most of my clothes home last weekend as this is my last week in Detroit. I very carefully selected what I would wear this week. 🙂

June 26

  • Good morning, I must continue on with the clothing saga from yesterday…… As I have been lollygagging around this morning, my little self doubt goblin crept in and said “the pants thing yesterday was just a fluke. The pants you choose today are going to be so tight you can’t zip them up. Theln what will you do? That’s what you get for bragging yesterday. nana nana boo boo.” So at that point the rest of the goblin family jumped in. “the reason this job is coming to an end is that you aren’t good enough.” ” The reason you don’t have a man in your life is that you aren’t good enough.” on and on and on……
    So in my infinite wisdom, I crawled back into bed with my gothic romance novel (sorry Colette, I know it should have been the Map, but honesty here really counts. :-)) And after a page or two, I fell back to sleep with the pillow over my head. or so I thought.
    I went into a quick dreamscape where I called the goblin village to order for a quick town meeting.is ey all needed to start working with me. I could see myself as the Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland.- except instead of screaming “off with their head!” I was screaming “to the freezer you go!”
    I looked at the clock and realized that I really had to get moving so with deep dread I pulled out the pants that I was planning to wear…..and my little voice in my head started with “I think I can, I think I can I think I can.” I pulled on the pants and…..

    I have about an extra inch of material Last week these pants were quite snug. sssooooo in closing. “All ye goblins in the village listen up…..There is a new sherrif in town. While I understand where you came from, it’s time we all start working together.

    Another win for the home team. Thanks for listening

June 27

  • Day 3 of the fasion saga…….I’M A BELIEVER This morning was the real challenge. I pulled a pair or dress pants out of the closet. They are my favorite pants – why? because they have that cool stretch fabric that gives with you during the day. You know… the kind that has just enough stretch that helps as you feel a little bloated throughout the day. We all have those days when you put something on and say to yourself “If I hold my breath and suck in my belly I know I can get these pants closed.”
    This particular pair of pants is just like that. Last week, I wore them and had to suck in just a little to fasten and zipper.
    This morning as I got dressed, I pulled them up and started to suck in……Amazingly I didn’t need to suck in. They buttoned and zipped without the extra effort.
    I can’t say that they are falling off like the other 2 mornings, but these were just at that point where I was going to have to put them on the shelf for “when I loose weight.
    And so the progress moves on.
    Lots of love to everyone. I hope you are all having great experiences.

June 28

  • Good morning – Day 4 of the clothing saga……It is my last day here in Detroit. The temperature is supposed to go to 90 or so. and for some reason I was dreading getting dressed this morning. I have been dorking around for the last hour procrastinating pulling that last outfit out of the closet. Not because I am sad that the job here is coming to an end. but because the self doubt goblin cranked in this morning. The pants that I chose are some that I haven’t worn in a while. They were in the closet for the last few months. For some reason I chose to leave these here rather than the comfy favorites. The last time I remember wearing these they were really snug (thus the reason they stayed in the closet so long. I pulled the goblin sherrif out again and put the goblins away. I just put on my slacks and they were a perfect fit. Not tight at all. Actually a little loose, but not falling off. What a great way to start my final day in Detroit. I hope you all have a great day. Thanks for letting me share

June 28

  • Day 5 of the continuing sage of the travelling saggy pants. Today is my last morning in Detroit. As I woke up I realized I had just spent my last night in Troll Hollow. I realized the meaning of the dream that woke me up around 3 am. The dream involved a battlefield with hundreds of Trolls rebelling and storming Troll Hollow demanding change. Of course it all fits because the hotel is under renovation and hopefully it will be much better when it is finished.
    I packed the last of my belongings last night leaving out only the shorts and top that I planned to wear today. I knew exactly how these pants would fit because they were the same ones that I wore on Sunday for the flight to Detroit. Just snug enough that I had to suck in to get them buttoned. I decided to reflect on the conference call last night before getting dressed. Just how did the story of my interaction with the “evil” Manager in the corporate world fit with the Weight Release Energetix program? It suddenly smacked me in the face (BTW I do plan to tell you about how the pants fit but you will have to wait.”
    Working in the Corporate world adds a great deal of stress to your life. Especially as you move higher up the ladder of success. Probably no more important than those who have jobs as wives, mothers, bankers, etc. There is always some level of stress. Add to that the desire to be successful….or worse an over achiever. Add to that being the road warrior with 100% travel for 4-5 years…..staying in hotels, eating out, entertaining clients, etc. Add to that working with and for people who thrive on making your life difficult so they can shine. Should I go on?
    I realized this morning that I started gaining weight as I moved up the corporate ladder. I also realized that I should have had more control over myself as I moved into that world and I could have taken better care of myself. I have really been working hard over the last few years to be a better me. It is very difficult sometimes not to lose light of what is important. Thus the relationship of corporate to tis particular program. We may all end up coaching individuals who live this world as I have described. Using the right language is really important. It took a lot of guts for me to have that crucial conversation with my manager. I did have to explain the invisible child to her in terms she understood. I also had to be very comfortable with what ever outcome there would be from the meeting. I am very grateful to have help from above to know that what I did was right and that it would turn out OK for me.
    Enough pontificating….back to the pants. Even though I have been in a consulting assignment since last August there was a lot of stress. The hard part was realizing that I was not in control at this company. I was there to help them rescue themselves, but I’m not sure they really want to be rescued. This built up a very stressful situation. This week I knew it was the end and I was headed home. I released everything and went back to relying on intention. I got dressed for the airport. Pulled on the shorts and did not have to suck in at all to button them.
    Off to Atlanta for the holiday week to kiss babies and visit family. Now the real stress begins. Let’s see how the saga goes next week.

    Christine Park Thanks for the feedback and encouragement. Yes, I am working on a couple of books from different perspectives. This one might have a new foundation. I have to admit the invizion process and working through visualization has been a tremendous help for me. I don’t want anyone to think I went in and resigned my job without a lot of heart wrenching thought. I only wish I had had a really great coach (Like Doug:-)) at the time to help me through it. I had to go through a lot of emotional transformation to be strong enough and trusting enough. I am finding working with the visualization and letting go to be a great comfort and source of support. I know it was the last full time job that pushed me to making the decision to pursue my true vocation – Coaching – how to help others help themselves.

June 29

  • Day 6 saga of the sagging pants…..I have been dreading getting dressed all day. Lounging in pjs. Finally made myself to in and pulled out some shorts from last summer. Pulled them on and found they fit perfect…….1 size smaller than the size I have been buying recently. I put that little self doubt goblin that has been plaguing me all day back in the freezer

July 1

  • Here is the Sunday update to the Saga of the travelling baggy pants. DAy 3 in Atlanta with family. Yesterday afternoon I decided to experiment. I went to the mall to get a watch battery Yes, my $20 Cartie watch straight from China finally stopped after 5 years.) While there I purchased 2 pair of shorts. 1 size smaller than I currently have purchased. The thought behind the experiment was to test the sizing saga. These would not be shrunk from washing or stretched from wearing. I got up this morning and dressed and found the new shorts fit perfectly.
    This was very exciting as it has been an emotional 3 days. I had to take my special little girl back to her Mommy so I could get some of my own stuff done tomorrow. I went to visit my nephew (baby Daddy) and found him in good spirits, but ready to get moved to rehab. I am going to dinner with my sister and her family to celebrate her daughter’s birthday. My brother just told me “I will help you pay for dinner tonight since I know that is why they invited you.” I told him absolutely not, that he would pay for his dinner and I would pay for mine, but that I stopped paying for everyone else. Not my drama.
    I just got confirmation of my assignment that will take me to Switzerland for a couple of weeks. That is good work from July 23-Sept 14. Not going to worry about what comes next.
    Only 6 more days in the family drama. Can I go down one more size for real? I think so.
    Hope you are all having a great Sunday enjoying the heat.

July 2

  • And so the continuing saga of the traveling baggy pants continues. I am ending my week here with family and friends and thought I would tally things up:

  • Food journal – well, I had goo intentions. I know everything I had to eat this week, but didn’t write it down. As Scarlet O’Hara would say “I’ll worry about that some time tomorrow.’ In reality I found it harder to follow the new food routine because I was around my family. While I did good most of the time, there were some slips.

  • Clothing – I bought 2 new pair of shorts 1 size smaller than I normally buy. This was a huge triumph for me. Even though I didn’t follow the eating plan, they still fit looser than they would have fit before I started this journey.

  • Stress – this one gets me. I have this weird phenomenon with stress. My hands break out in a rash. I haven’t had this for several months now. Suddenly my hands have broken out in the rash. Not sure why as I don’t really feel the stress that I would normally have. Maybe it’s just some negative energy release.

  • Family and friends – I have spent time with my brother. Haven’t heard from my sister again since Sunday. Nor any of my friends. Just nice to spend the time in solitude.

  • Sleep – I have been able to sleep most nights – that is unless I have a 4 ½ year old bed hog who loves to cuddle with Aunt Chrissy. On those nights it seems I get about 6 inches of sleeping space on the queen size bed. But I won’t complain as she is my special girl.

  • Drink – I had one beer this week….otherwise lots of water. It has been around 100 degrees every day since I have been here. No sweet tea. No soda. Just water.

  • Work – I had several things that I planned to do this week. I really didn’t do any of them yet. I had a business lunch with a friend who may have an opportunity for me. I have the trip to Switzerland and work for 6 weeks Aug and Sept. Yesterday another assignment fell out of the Universe that will have me working in Orlando for 3 weeks Not bad. All of these will be 40 hour a week assignments so I will have the opportunity to budget the rest of my time.
    Overall not a bad week. I’m sure the saggy pants adventure will continue when I get home into my own environment where I have more control over what and when I eat.

July 4

Happy Independence Day to all. May you have a wonderful day bing independent and away from the goblins, sugar cravings, stress, goblins, worries, etc. I plan to enjoy today and see what life brings. Currently watching Sponge Bob with my niece. Maybe just another one of those me days.
The travelling pants are still feeling good. I actually had someone tell me the other day that I looked slimmer and was glowing……of course it was an ex brother in law, but every positive counts, huh?
I hereby declare independence for all!

July 5

This morning as I woke up I found myself in a fascinating dream. I have been thinking through this to see if I could understand the pieces. Thought I would share my insights and the experience.

I found myself out driving with my younger brother in his corvette (hhhmmm…I just finished a week visiting at his house). We pulled up to a store to do some shopping. My first impression of the store is that it specializes in things for Harley riders (no I don’t ride, but my brother does. Is this an omen that I need a Harley? I think not.) As we are walking into the store a little girl pops her head out and wants to play. As I look closely at the little girl, I realize that she is me at age 7 or 8. She takes my hand as we walk into the store. We head over to the clothing racks. I suddenly realize that she is playing hide and seek with me amongst the clothing racks. When I go to look for her she is hiding in the larger size clothes. I actually find her in the smaller sizes. We are really having a good time laughing and giggling as we play the game. No as I think about this scenario, there are several key points (from my humble opinion).

  • Hiding in the larger size clothes – that is what I have done most of my life. Being tall, the smaller sizes were never long enough. I bought clothes that were too big size wise to get length.

  • I have never felt comfortable in close fitting clothes – They have always felt constricting – maybe this was me feeling the need to hide.

  • As she and I played in the smaller size clothes, I felt comfortable…..and I looked good.

I believe the message is to stop hiding in the larger clothes. I will be much happier (as will she) by going with clothes that fit better.

I am sure more messages will come. I don’t remember everything from the dream but I feel as though the little girl me was integrating into my current world from a much better perspective.

So the travelling saggy pants continue. Off to Orlando this week for a new assignment.

  • adventures of the travelling saggy pants continues….. So this morning was another great test. Here I am in sunny, humid, central Florida (Orlando) for the next 3 weeks. I was bold enough this past weekend to purchase some new clothes….both for play and work. Yes, they were the smaller size that I had mentioned before. I picked up this really cool pair of plum work slacks. I thought to myself that this would be great as it seems everything I wear is black or grey. I didn’t even try them on. I really bought them for color. So this morning as I was getting dressed, I pulled them out and as I started to pull them up, I realized that these were really the “skinny” cut”. You know the kind that fits almost like leggings all the way down to the ankle? YEP, I was so mad at myself for not checking them before I purchased them. I NEVER wear that stuff because it is too constricting. Feels like I have on SPANX or a girdle of some sort.

    Being the brave soul that I am I thought I would pull them up any way to see just how tight the really were. Of course when they are already tight at the ankle, there is just no hope to go up much further. Imagine my surprise when I pulled the all the way up and was able to button and zip them without any issue. In fact they are loose at the waist and hips…..not enough to go another size smaller yet, but loose enough to be comfortable. Here it is 4:15 in the afternoon and I am not being strangled by my pants

the saga of the travelling saggy pants continues…….so I haven’t posted in a while but am compelled to share. This morning I pulled out my new skinny pants….the ones that I bought a size smaller around 4th of July. As I put them on today, I noticed that I have about an extra inch of room in the waist. hhhmmmmm thank goodness I bought them at the outlet on sale and idn’t spend too much on them. I am anxiously awaiting some new clothes that i ordered that are 2 sizes smaller than the ones I was wearing when we started the program. I know they will fit great…..ooops probably be too big by time I get them. Guess it means its really time to clean the closet. Stay tuned.

July 29

  • Off to Switzerland for the next 2 weeks. Here I am at the Atl airport. I put on some new lululemon yoga pants this morning and a tank top. This is not something I would have worn in public at any point over the last 10 years. Feeling pretty good about life and things in general. I’m sure there will be some new adventures of the travelling saggy pants.

July 30

  • so the adventures of the travelling saggy pants continues Eating here i Switzerland is a challenge. We are in Lugano which is right at the Italian border. I am being pretty good but have to admit it is a challenge. I don’t speak Italian, so I don’t always know what I am getting. I am watching portions, staying away from the dairy and the vino. Having said all that…..today I got dressed for work. I put on a top that I haven’t worn in a while. It is a stretchy dress top. I’m sure you are wondering why I haven’t worn it?????It was uncomfortable. it was riding up in the belly and I was constantly having to pull it down.

July 31

Today when I got dressed, I didn’t have to worry about pulling it down. it fit perfectly and didn’t ride up on me all day. SSSOOO success appears in many different ways……until next time

Aug 16

  • While the adventures of the travelling saggy pants continues, I thought I would start a new adventure. Yesterday I bought myself a new bicycle. I can’t remember the last time I owned a bicycle…..much less a new one. Let’s just say it has been more years that I can remember.
    It was delivered last night. This morning I decided to take my first spin. Just thought it would be a short spin like to the corner and back to get my balance and remember how to ride. It is true that once you learn to ride you never forget. Of course these days the helmet, kneepads, etc take some of that excitement away, but yet I digress.
    I wound up taking the spin all the way around my lake. It is about 4 miles around. Now how did I let that happen? I got to the corner and said to myself “I can go just a little further.” Then I got to the first mile and said to myself “Well now that I have done one mile, it’s another mile back to home. I’m enjoying the morning air. I’ll go just a little further.” Before I knew it I was half way around the sub division. At this point it was equal distance to go all the way around than to turn back.
    It was actually a quick 4 miles. Approximately 30 minutes. I will probably feel it later but right now it feels good.

Aug 18

As part of my transformation, I promised myself to try and get out and ride every day that I am home. Most of you know that I travel a lot and am not home much. I just returned from Switzerland. We didn’t have a car so we walked into town for dinner most nights. Must have walked 20+ miles during my trip. I share that because it is just one more accomplishment. My arthritis has been bothering me a lot so I stopped walking and exercising much. This combined with the weight gain has added to the stress in my life. I didn’t want to seem like the only wimp in the group while we were travelling, so I pushed forward. I may have walked slowly but I did it.
Each day is a new adventure. Watch for more tales from the great bicycle race.